Posts Tagged ‘Indulgent’

Michael Bacolas on Neglectful and Indulgent Parenting

March 17, 2010

Michael Bacolas on Neglectful and Indulgent Parenting

A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. Michael Bacolas has learned that there are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest. Some aren’t the best strategies, where as others are perfect for raising successful individuals.

A lot of the time, many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through life’s stages. Parenting style is affected by both the parents’ and children’s temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own parents and culture. In a lot of cases, parents learn parenting practices from their own parents, some that they accept, and some they discard. The degree to which a child’s education is part of parenting is a further matter of debate.

Michael Bacolas: Neglectful parenting

The parent is neither demanding nor responsive.

Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, detached, dismissive or hands-off. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child’s life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Generally, Michael Bacolas describes these type of parents to be emotionally unsupportive of their children, but will still provide their basic needs.

Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. In this situation, children often display contradictory behavior, and are emotionally withdrawn from social situations, or events. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later on in life. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency.

Michael Bacoals: Indulgent parenting

The parent is responsive but not demanding.

Indulgent parenting, which is also called permissive, nondirective or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child. With indulgent parenting, parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them. Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child’s needs as well as their wishes. Michael Bacolas describes indulgent parents as parents that do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately.

Children of permissive parents may tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents, may engage more in misconduct and drug use. “Children will basically never learn to control their own behavior and will always expect to get their way.” explains Michael Bacolas. But in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and are willing to learn and accept defeat. They are able to live life without the help of someone else.